THINK PIECES

How Do You Know You’re a Good Person?

Do you always tell the truth?

Do you come to a complete stop at every stop sign?

Do you give to your local charity?

I’m really curious what people mean when they say “I’m a good person”.

What makes you so “good”?

Is it because you’re faithful to your husband even when the super hot guy at work keeps asking you out for drinks?

To me, being a good person is situational. Every day we are all faced with different situations where we can decide to be a good person or not.

Today, when my dog was doing her business in the pouring rain, I decided to run inside when she was finished, to prevent myself from getting drenched. I didn’t clean up after her and I didn’t care. Does that make me a bad person?

When I asked myself that question, I thought back to last Saturday and I decided not only am I a good person… I’m a fucking saint.

Let me paint the picture for you… Me and 10 of my closest friends, dancing to best songs from the early 2000’s at one of our favorite spots downtown. I’m talkin’ Missy Elliot, R. Kelly, Destiny’s Child, Nelly. YAAASSSS BITCH the club was “lit” as the kids call it. Anyway, I had a bladder full of sangria and everytime I decided enough was enough the DJ played another one of those “THIS IS MY SONG!” songs.

Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore, so I fought my way through the crowd of drunken college kids and ended up at the end of the longest bathroom line in St. Pete’s history. Every step forward was painful and I hated myself for the self inflicted UTI I was sure I created.

After I went through every Snapchat story and I was finally to the front, I noticed a girl getting sick at the bar. She had her head in a trashcan and people were laughing at her. It infuriated me. Firstly, where TF were her “friends” and secondly why are people so damn mean?!

Without thinking twice I walked over, pulled her dress down, her hair up and rubbed her back while she sobered up the hard way. I blocked the assholes who were taking videos and pictures and stayed with her until she pulled her head out, thanked me and stumbled through the exit.

I’m a good person.

The end.

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